Why You Keep Going Back to Drinking (And How to Break the Cycle for Good)

If you're reading this, chances are you've tried to quit drinking before.

Maybe once, maybe a dozen times. You've had moments of clarity where you swore, "That's it! I'm done." Only to find yourself, days or weeks later, with a drink in hand, wondering how the hell you got back here.

I know because I've been there. Over and over again.

The truth is, breaking free from alcohol isn't just about willpower. It's not about being strong enough, disciplined enough, or motivated enough. If that were the case, you would have quit the first time you wanted to.

So why do you keep going back? And more importantly—how do you stop the cycle for good?

The Hard Truth: It's Not About the Alcohol

Most people think they drink because they like drinking. False. You drink because it serves a function in your life. It's doing something for you—whether you realise it or not.

Alcohol is the shortcut, the escape hatch, the coping mechanism. It's the crutch you lean on when things feel stressful, overwhelming, lonely, boring, exhausting, or even exciting.

✔️ You don't drink because you love wine. You drink because it signals relaxation after a long day.
✔️ You don't drink because you love beer. You drink because it makes socialising easier.
✔️ You don't drink because you love whiskey. You drink because it dulls the anxiety.
✔️ You don't drink because you love cocktails. You drink because it gives you permission to let go.

Drinking isn't about the drink itself. It's about the function alcohol plays in your life.

Step One: Identify What Alcohol is Actually Doing for You

Instead of asking yourself, "Why can't I stop drinking?" try asking:

👉 "What is alcohol giving me that I don't think I can get another way?"

For me, I drank because I thought alcohol was the only way to switch off my brain. It is the only way to feel less stressed, more confident, and more at ease in my own skin. Turns out, it wasn't. I just didn't know any other way to access those feelings.

Breaking the Cycle: What You Must Change First

If you want to stop drinking for good, you don't just remove alcohol—you replace it.

Most people fail at quitting because they try to take alcohol away without replacing what it was doing for them. That's like pulling out the foundation of a house and expecting it to stay standing.

So, let's fix that.

1. Build a New Ritual to Replace Alcohol

If alcohol was your "wind down" at the end of the day, you need a new way to signal to your brain: It's time to relax. That might be a hot shower, a cup of herbal tea, stretching, or a book you only read in the evening.

If alcohol made you "more confident" in social situations, build a habit that strengthens your social skills sober—like deep breathing before events, practising self-affirmations, or simply showing up and proving to yourself that you can do it.

If alcohol was your "stress reliever", try breathwork, movement, or even journaling out your stress instead of numbing it. The key isn't just to stop drinking—it's to rewire your brain to seek relief in ways that actually serve you.

2. Stop Labeling Yourself as "Someone Who Can't Quit"

Your brain believes whatever you tell it. If you've been saying, "I always go back to drinking", guess what? You'll keep proving yourself right.

Shift your identity. Start seeing yourself as someone who chooses to live alcohol-free, someone who prioritises clarity, energy, and control. Even if you slip up, you are still that person—you just had a moment that taught you something.

Instead of saying, "I always fail at quitting", say:
🚀 "I am learning how to live alcohol-free, and every step forward is progress."

3. Expect the Temptation—And Have a Plan

The biggest mistake I made when trying to quit? Thinking I'd never want to drink again. That's not how the brain works.

Your brain has been wired to associate alcohol with comfort, pleasure, relief, and fun. When you stop drinking, those old pathways don't vanish overnight. The urge will come. But the urge is not a command.

Here's what worked for me:
🔥 When the craving hits, I do something else for 5 minutes. By the time I've made tea, taken a walk, or called a friend, the craving is usually gone.
🔥 I keep a list of reasons why I quit in my phone. Reading it reminds me why drinking isn't actually what I want.
🔥 I have an exit plan for triggering situations. If I'm at a social event and feel pressured, I've already decided how I'll respond. (Tip: "I feel amazing not drinking" shuts people up way faster than "I'm trying to quit.”)

What Happens When You Stop Going Back?

At first, breaking the cycle is uncomfortable. Your brain will try to convince you that you "deserve" a drink, that "one won't hurt," that it's "not a big deal." But each time you choose clarity over chaos, empowerment over escape, you rewire your brain.

And then something amazing happens. You start to feel good. Not just good—really good.

💡 You wake up with more energy than you've had in years.
💡 Your self-confidence skyrockets because you're proving to yourself that you can trust your own decisions.
💡 You realise that alcohol was never the solution—it was just delaying you from becoming the person you were always meant to be.

Your Next Move: Take Action Today

If you're stuck in the cycle, you don't have to stay there. You don't need another "rock bottom" moment. You just need one decision.

🔥 Decide that today is different.
🔥 Decide that this time, you're breaking the cycle for good.
🔥 Decide that the future you want is bigger than the temporary relief of a drink.

And if you need help getting started, I've put together 30 Tips for Going Alcohol-Free for 30 Days—practical, real-life strategies to make this journey easier and more enjoyable.

👉 Grab your free copy here:

This is your moment. The cycle ends now. Are you in? 

Drop a 🔥 in the comments if you're ready to break free.

Let's do this together.

ABOUT REBECCA

I'm Rebecca T. Perrone, a former healthcare professional and Master Grey Area Drinking Coach dedicated to igniting change and nurturing growth.

I am the Founder of Real Transitions and the creator of @empowerhersober and The "Empower Me" 100-Day Alcohol-Free Program.

You can read more about my story and work HERE

VISIT REAL TRANSITIONS WEBSITE

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